Buying a home, exercise in stress/time management Invite your friends over, pour a couple drinks, have a seat together in the living room for a general, but more serious discussion about stuff in general.

[Neo]

Today we got our closing amount, around 2pm. This gave me plenty of time to do a transfer from savings to checking, then get to the bank to do a cash advance, and then turn that into a cashier's check. Wells Fargo said they could do that for me, no problem.

Except it didn't go anything near as planned.

I moved the money from savings to checking, instantly - no problem. But when I went to Wells Fargo to get a cash advance, they swiped my card, and it was declined. It's a debit card - a debit card shouldn't be declined.

I forgot to raise the withdrawal limit.

I call up USAA to bump my limit, because $5k is the max I can do myself from the app, and they have to get another manager involved, there was hold time, a notification from my app about the adjustment...it all went relatively smoothly - compared to what happened next.

I go back inside to Wells Fargo, have the guy do the same transaction again, but this time I remembered I've been carrying around $450 in my pocket this month, so I ask him to add that to the cashier's check and just withdraw less money.

Declined again.

Then it occurs to him that once the card is declined it cannot be used again...that day...at any Wells Fargo branch. Now I have the dilemma of finding a bank who will pull out $13,000 for me to do a cashier's check.

I go next store, and ask if they can do a Cashier's Check...

Are you a member? <no> We can't do cashier's checks for non-members. <ok, thanks> *leave*

I go next store, and ask if they can do a Cashier's Check for a non-Member...

No. *leave*

I go back to my car and think about the situation. Maybe I can just get them to do a cash advance, and I can go back to Wells Fargo - they seem to be able to do a cashier's check without an account with them. So I go back in, and ask if they can do a cash advance...

Sure. <for $13,000?> Only up to $2500 for non-Members. <that's not enough>*leave*

Then I go back over to Bank of the Ozarks, wondering what their limit on Cash advance is...

$500 for a non-Member <so, no...thanks>*leave*

"Ok, Glass...Google...Where is the nearest bank..."

I drive to Bank of America - since obviously the little ones can't get their smurf-poo together. I just need to get the cash - today - to bring over to Wells Fargo so they can cut me a cashier's check.

I get stopped by someone who seemed like the might be in charge and I ask her some questions...

<Can you do a cash advance for a non-member?> Yes. <Is there a limit?> No. <Can you do a cashier's check with the money from a cash advance?> Only if you have an account with us. <Why can Wells Fargo do it, but you guys can't?> I don't know... [continue on about my journey so far and why I'm at BoA instead of Wells Fargo getting cash]

I go up to the teller, type out some numbers on my calculator and ask her to do a cash advance for $11,750. She asks her coworker if there is a non-member cash advance limit...then double checks it...then calls someone over to double check it... $5000 is the limit.



She tells me some options, one of them is to come back tomorrow morning at open and get the rest of the money before my closing appointment. (It occurs to me now that would have never worked because they would not have been able to give me a cashier's check anyway - the first lady said so.) I didn't have time for all that anyway. After some thought, I decided I would take the $5000...plus a $2500 from the other bank, plus a $500 from the other...plus the $450 in my pocket, and hit up another bank for the difference. All I really needed to have was under $8700 - the rest was for painting on Friday. I took the $5k and went across the street to Chase.

Here I am at Chase...with the girl that helped me out. Everyone was amazed with Google Glass...she was mid-question in this shot...I had just stuck my tongue out - or was about to, knowing it was coming.


By this point, I knew the questions to ask...

• Can you do a cash advance for a non-member? Yes
• What is the limit for a non-member? None

Perfect. I take out the other $6750 I need to bring all my cash to $12,200. I thank her for her help and head back to Wells Fargo.

For the third time today, I come into the building, and start this transaction. I give him two envelopes full of 122 x $100-bills and a $50, and the amounts I need. The first thing he says...

Ok, now swipe your card... <what card? I have cash, this isn't coming out of an account anymore> Oh.

Oh? no.... smurf no.

I'm sorry sir, I thought you had an account with us... <um, nope. I've been here before - you guys all know me, I don't have an account here.>

I pick up my money, now concerned that I have over $12k in cash. I go out to the car, think about things, go back inside,and consider opening back up a Wells Fargo account. I talk with the banker, she goes over the fees and how to get around them... direct deposit <nope>, automatic transfer to savings <nope>, 10 debit-swipes per month <nope>... all smurf-poo...all reasons why I left Wells Fargo in the first place. I tell her I need to call my lender and get some options.

I have cash in my hand, and no one can take it - no one will give me a smurfin' IOU backed by cash, and I have no way to re-deposit the money because Wells Fargo lead me to believe I could get a cashier's check without an account. Lender says "that's a new one for me...we need to talk to the title company." Apparently I'm Louis and Clarking this whole thing as a person who doesn't use paper, and doesn't use a "bank." Title company says "you'll have to open an account."

Great. That's the last thing I wanted to do was open another bank account I'm not going to use.

I go back to work, let everyone what so much money looks like - I've never held that much either. I explain the situation to them up to this point, and my co-worker mentions she has an account at Chase that is free. Chase was nice to me, so I'll go back there. I pack up my things and head to the Chase.

Everyone recognizes me again - as they do, at every bank. I tell the girl at the teller counter I need to open an account to get a cashier's check. Then I wait for the bankers to finish up with their current customers, and one brings me into the office. I explain I need the cheapest, fastest, account we can setup so that I can get a cashier's check cut today - so I can close on my house tomorrow.

She asks some quick questions, then asks me to hang on just a second...and she goes to get someone else. I guess she explained the situation, and a second lady comes in with her and they tell me they can't open an account just for me to get a cashier's check and then close it in a few days. There's "a lot of paperwork up front" and it's not a fast process. We start spitballing ideas - check cashing places (turns out they don't do cashier's checks)...keeping the account (requires a $1500 minimum daily balance to stay free without intervention, or $12/month)...or if a friend has an account we can get a cashier's check through their account, and put me as the remitter.

my co-worker mentions she has an account at Chase that is free

I call her up...2x, then try to message her, then try to message another coworker to get her attention...then decide to drive back to the office to get her. It's 4:45 at this point, and I have until 6 to get this handled here. She responds while enroute and I ask her if she can help - and she agrees.

I walk back into the Chase for a third time, where everyone recognizes me - that's when I give the Glass demo, while my co-worker is on her way. I start counting out the money when she gets there, and I give her enough to do the only cashier's check that matters for tomorrow. I'll pay the painter in cash.

Finally. I have a cashier's check, with my name on it - without having to open another account...at a bank I'll never need to use, outside of extreme circumstances like this. I just hope one day soon Title companies will let people swipe a debit card to make their down payment - I can do it from my phone...there's no reason they can't do it from a computer.

I also have a bank with a bunch of nice people I can visit the next time I do need large sums of cash (like when the windows get repaired).

[Pam]

So, wait...who do you actually bank with?? And why could you not use them to do the cashier's check or whatever it was you needed (I got lost between banks).

I bank with Chase, have 3 free checking accounts. I love banking with Chase. I am so glad I didn't have that kind of problem before closing on my house. I think I would have had an anxiety attack!!

[Neo]

I keep my money with USAA - I could have had them do a cashier's check, but I didn't get the amount until 2pm the day before I needed the check. They don't have branches, and I would have to order one and have it mailed from Ohio, where their headquarters is located.

This is the first time I've needed a cashier's check for anything. It wouldn't have been a hassle if I'd have known no bank will do a cashier's check without an account to back the check. I could have just wired it - but once the cash was out, I was committed to a paper transaction. I couldn't even do a mobile deposit for that much in 60 days to get it back into the account if I'd have given the cash to someone in exchange for a personal check.

[DMoney]

Man.....you sure do love to make that whole process difficult! Haha. Could you not do a wire from USAA? Or would the title company not accept wires? That's the quickest and easiest solution. My whole closing process was such a breeze!

[Neo]

I could wire, but the Wells Fargo guy told me he could do the check. If he hasn't mislead me, I would have wired it. My larger point is that I should be able to swipe to pay for it, not have to use 1960s tech.

[DMoney]

Yes, that I can agree with. There should be more options in this day and age to make payments. Checks are stupid.