Your Roaring 20s
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Looking back through the Looking Glass (if available), what advice would you give yourself (or other 20-somethings) to help get them through those 10 years of being an adult?
"Because I choose to."
[[Neo]]
[[Neo]]
More so looking at my livejournal recently, I think I'd recommend talking or writing every thing down. Even now that is helping me more than anything else.
I don't think much would have helped me at the time in terms of advice, except maybe take things less seriously but at that age, everything is serious. I loved fiercely, I hurt fiercely, and I mourned fiercely. I was a passionate person, still am really, and that meant I hurt easily and it clearly showed.
I'm technically still a 20-something, but I think I would tell myself to love me, and find things that make me happy that are not tied to a person or group of people. Follow my passions and the right people will end up where I am.
I don't think much would have helped me at the time in terms of advice, except maybe take things less seriously but at that age, everything is serious. I loved fiercely, I hurt fiercely, and I mourned fiercely. I was a passionate person, still am really, and that meant I hurt easily and it clearly showed.
I'm technically still a 20-something, but I think I would tell myself to love me, and find things that make me happy that are not tied to a person or group of people. Follow my passions and the right people will end up where I am.
The deeper darker me ever grows,
Until the light burns it apart,
Leaving behind my scorched and naked heart.
"Those who submit are not always weak" - Hyacinth
Until the light burns it apart,
Leaving behind my scorched and naked heart.
"Those who submit are not always weak" - Hyacinth
Mine would be very similar to Vanyl's. I took everything too seriously (yet not the right kind of seriously, if that makes any sense). I took everything to personal, I guess. This is something I still struggle with, but I'm getting better.
The biggest thing would probably be to not get in with the wrong crowd. Not to let people take advantage of me, and walk all over me. And to not do things because that's what everyone (that were not the right people) wanted me to do.
I probably should have also tried more with school. I needed to find something I liked, and stick with it, so that I wouldn't be where I am now, and have no idea what I want to do with my life.
Oh, and I would have told myself to not start drinking. That messed me up pretty good.
The biggest thing would probably be to not get in with the wrong crowd. Not to let people take advantage of me, and walk all over me. And to not do things because that's what everyone (that were not the right people) wanted me to do.
I probably should have also tried more with school. I needed to find something I liked, and stick with it, so that I wouldn't be where I am now, and have no idea what I want to do with my life.
Oh, and I would have told myself to not start drinking. That messed me up pretty good.
I would have a hard time finding things to change about how I spent the last decade. It was rough - emotionally and physically - but it made me more empathetic when it came to people I actually interact with, and it was the reason I was able to prevent some mistakes. I’m not devoid of mistakes - I just managed to avoid the major ones I was trying to avoid.
With one exception: I think I would probably tell myself to pay more attention to family medical history…I won’t be skinny forever, if I keep eating whatever I wanted as much as I wanted.
Even though it would have changed who I became, I would advise that no person is worth entering into depression over. The world doesn’t end when a relationship does. And a relationship is not to complete you, it’s to compliment you.
Then there are lessons that I eventually learned that could have been explained clearer to me and I would have learned them sooner like:
- People are people too. Everyone’s an individual with a plan for their lives that they’re trying to execute. You either become part of each other’s plan, or you figure out a way for the plans to exist together. Or you go your separate ways and keep in touch when you can. Don’t force it for either person.
- Everyone has a perspective on their life, and you don’t have the whole picture all the time. Beliefs, understanding, perspective, intention, history…those are all the domain of the other person. Perception is all you have. Learn about their viewpoint, share your viewpoint - then you’ll both grow in your understanding of people. Neither is right, neither is wrong - it’s forming a link between the internal and the external representation of a person.
- Try things you’ve never tried, at least once, dammit! If it looks good, eat it. If you’ve never been there, go. If you’ve never heard it, listen. I didn’t like sushi until I ate it with chica one of the times we got to hang out when I was living in Plano, single. Now I eat it quite frequently, and crave it from time to time.
So, there’s not a lot of life-altering advice I’d give myself, simply because I understand where my decisions have lead me, and where I would have ended up. It’s tough to say if I’d trade one life path for another…but I think after reconciling with the one event from my past that caused this life path to form, I don’t think I’d change it.
With one exception: I think I would probably tell myself to pay more attention to family medical history…I won’t be skinny forever, if I keep eating whatever I wanted as much as I wanted.
Even though it would have changed who I became, I would advise that no person is worth entering into depression over. The world doesn’t end when a relationship does. And a relationship is not to complete you, it’s to compliment you.
Then there are lessons that I eventually learned that could have been explained clearer to me and I would have learned them sooner like:
- People are people too. Everyone’s an individual with a plan for their lives that they’re trying to execute. You either become part of each other’s plan, or you figure out a way for the plans to exist together. Or you go your separate ways and keep in touch when you can. Don’t force it for either person.
- Everyone has a perspective on their life, and you don’t have the whole picture all the time. Beliefs, understanding, perspective, intention, history…those are all the domain of the other person. Perception is all you have. Learn about their viewpoint, share your viewpoint - then you’ll both grow in your understanding of people. Neither is right, neither is wrong - it’s forming a link between the internal and the external representation of a person.
- Try things you’ve never tried, at least once, dammit! If it looks good, eat it. If you’ve never been there, go. If you’ve never heard it, listen. I didn’t like sushi until I ate it with chica one of the times we got to hang out when I was living in Plano, single. Now I eat it quite frequently, and crave it from time to time.
So, there’s not a lot of life-altering advice I’d give myself, simply because I understand where my decisions have lead me, and where I would have ended up. It’s tough to say if I’d trade one life path for another…but I think after reconciling with the one event from my past that caused this life path to form, I don’t think I’d change it.
"Because I choose to."
[[Neo]]
[[Neo]]
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